Should I Have Premarital Sex With Someone I Want To Marry?

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This Could Unravel Your Puzzles

I know this story will sound weird to some people’s hearing, especially teenagers and unmarried youth. Nevertheless, I want us to have it in our mind that nothing can be done against the truth but for the truth. 

When the Almighty God has passed His final verdict on an issue, He will not lower His standard because of human frailty. Instead, He would prefer to leave His standard where He placed it up above and intentionally stoop low to nurture man to His standard.

Another fact we should be aware of is that God’s instruction for us is not to His advantage but to our advantage, regardless of its convenience or not. Therefore, if we obey, we (not God) get the benefits; on the other hand, if we disobey, we (not God) suffer the consequences.

Here is the issue, If a couple is getting married shortly, it would seem logical from a human standpoint to assume that having sex is acceptable between them. 

Divine Instruction

However, God’s Word gives a clear and unequivocal command on the subject: “Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4). 

The term “sexually immoral” in this context refers to anybody who has sex outside of marriage. While fornication is treated lightly by the world, God does not.

Apostle Paul encourages the Corinthian Christians, stating, “Now about the topics you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual contact with a woman.’ However, given the prevalence of sexual immorality, each man should have sex with his own wife and each woman with her own husband, according to 1 Corinthians 7:1–2. 

Later (1 Corinthians 7:7–9, 25–40), his remarks will inspire individuals who can live alone and celibately to serve God completely. According to the Bible, marriage is the only institution that is acceptable for sexual activity. By definition, those who are “going to get married” are not yet legally wed and should not be acting as though they are.

Judaism Concept

The Law of Moses plainly stated that in Jewish culture, sexual interactions were not permitted before marriage. Even though a betrothal was regarded as a legally binding contract, sexual activity was not permitted before the wedding. 

The consummation of a marriage was seen as taking place the first time a man and woman engaged in sexual activity together. Marriage and sexual activity were so closely intertwined that they were almost interchangeable. 

Jesus Teaching

This partly explains why Jesus said, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9) in response to the Pharisees’ query concerning divorce. Marriage and sexual interactions were frequently discussed jointly in Jewish culture.

In 1 Corinthians 6:12–20, where he discusses God’s authority over our bodies and souls, Paul expands on this concept. He claims that a man becomes “one with her in the body” after having sex with a prostitute (verse 16). 

The Reason God Confine It Within Marriage

It is obvious that a sexual connection is unique, regardless of the circumstances. As a result, there is a degree of vulnerability in a sexual connection that God prefers to keep in a committed, trusting marriage. Even if you believe you will wed the individual, it is crucial to respect one another and wait until you are legally wed before engaging in sexual activity.

Nobody has the authority to disregard God’s unambiguous instructions in Scripture simply because they have future aspirations to get married. 

Congratulations if you’re planning a wedding. But in your planning, respect both your future spouse and God. Every engaged or dating couple faces the temptation of having premarital sex (including the writer of this article before marriage). 

How To Control The Urge

Thus caution must be taken, and a commitment to walking in the Spirit must be made to distract yourself from carnal desire. Ponder about your wedding plan and future marriage. Consider the kindness God has shown you and your partner. According to Romans 13:14, “Do not consider how to satisfy the desires of the flesh.”

The Living Hope

However, there is forgiveness and hope for Christians and non-Christians who have had premarital sex. God will pardon you and wash you from “all unrighteousness” if you confess your sin and forsake it by putting it behind you (1 John 1:9). With a renewed determination to remain sexually pure until marriage, regardless of one’s history, a new route to purity may be started now, and Jesus will make it as though you’ve never sinned.

Apostle Paul stated, “One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14). May we be pure and remain pure till Christ return. In Jesus Christ’s Name. Amen.

Thanks for reading, and remain blessed.

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Felix is a child of God, a pastor, a singer, and a part-time writer. He is married to Caro and they're blessed with three children. He and his family are in Ibadan city, Nigeria. They are serving God under Ibadan North Anglican Diocese (Church of Nigeria Anglican Communion). If you want to know more about him, connect through the address below or via the contact page. If you have been blessed through this content, try to make comment and share. Thanks and God bless you.

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