Avoid Being Too Harsh On Yourself When Things Are Difficult.

Life’s problem sometime presents itself on the surface beyond what it is in reality. At such times, we are vulnerable to being deceived by our feelings.

Our feelings in a time of difficulty could make us conclude it is over and think we cannot make it again. Such thoughts have made many people give up their goals. They become depressed, and some even committed suicide. However, below are some tips to help us make the right decision when things are difficult. May you find them helpful.

You Are Vulnerable

One paramount right mindset that will always help you bounce back when you fall is to instill in yourself that you are an imperfect man vulnerable to making mistakes. But when a man sees himself as a superhero who is immune to human frailty. Such a man has dug a bottomless pit for himself, and it may be difficult for him to rise again when he falls.

Therefore, don’t see yourself as an angel who can’t make mistakes. Instead, see yourself as a vulnerable man. This right mindset will help you in taking precautions and the proper discretion. But men who lack this mindset can make foolish decisions without a second thought. Hence they are more liable to make more mistakes because no matter how strong they are, it doesn’t change the fact that they are bloody men.

Self-control Is Imperative

Apart from recognizing that we are human and not perfect angels, it is essential to cultivate the habit of self-control. Because life’s journey is not always smooth, sometimes it feels like we’re on top of the world, and everything seems to turn to favor us. But at another time, it’s like we’re in the dungeon below, and it feels as if the entire world is against us. Whatever the situation we find ourselves in, it is wise never to act according to our bad feeling because it can be very misleading at such times.

The primary antidote to overcoming the temptation of making a wrong decision during a challenging time is learning to see beyond the moment. Therefore, cultivating the character of self-control is very imperative for every human. This character can help you sail through any stormy sea that challenges your journey in life, but the lack of it can sink you even when the storm is not so strong.

Your Attitude Is The King

You may not admit this, but I will say it. The problem you’re going through is not the main issue but your attitude. Difficulties in life’s journey are inevitable; everyone goes through it. The bad news is that it is always unbearable, but the good news is that it does not define you. It doesn’t determine your self-worth because it is a common thing. What defines and determines your self-worth is your attitude toward your problem. Life’s challenges are transient and not permanent. It has an expiry date. Hence, having a wrong attitude can be detrimental, but fostering a positive attitude towards it can be very helpful. Therefore, your problem does not define you but your attitude to it.

One of these three things can happen to any man going through distress. It can kill him, it can mar him, and it can make him better. Whatever happens, boils down to your attitude because the situation in life cannot rule us until we react to it. Therefore, our attitude is the king. As a result, it is wise to cultivate a positive attitude towards life’s obstacles because the problem does not define you; it is transient. Hence, it can produce a better version of you if you show a positive attitude towards it.

Practical Life Experience

The place of attitude in life journey forms 80 to 90% percent of what happens to us; hence I would like to drive my point home by telling us the story of a man called Kevin Carter. I once shared the story in my first article on Medium, but it seems more relevant in this context. So, please permit me to share it here to justify the fact that nothing happens until we react. 

Kevin Carter, a South Africa photographer, responded to an invitation to take photography during the Sudanese civil war in 1994. On the day he would return home, Kevin saw a dying girl suffering from a disease and a vulture waiting to feed on the child after her death. He then snapped some pictures and spent 20 minutes waiting for the bird to open its wings before taking another photo of the scene. But the bird never opened up. So, Carter chased the creature away and stood there watching as the child made his way to the caring center. After that, he smoked a cigarette, prayed to God, and shed tears before catching a flight to South Africa.

International Attention

After that, the picture attracted international attention and also earned Kevin a prestigious award. However, after receiving the award, a lady asked Kevin through a telephone conversation about the later fate of the girl. He replied he couldn’t wait to find out because he had a flight to catch. The interviewer gave Kevin the most shocking response of his life when she said, “On that day, two vultures stalked the child, one was a bird, and the other was holding the camera.” Kevin became depressed because of the statement and many other horrible things he had seen. Two months later, he committed suicide.

People’s Reaction

Many people slammed Kevin for not saving the child, and they accused him of being inhumane. Yes, I had the same impression about him until I did some findings of him and the girl. What I discovered altered my opinion of him completely, and I wished Kevin had summoned some courage for a moment. I learned that touching victims during a war or epidemic is against photojournalist ethics for fear of spreading disease. Their ethics do not permit interacting with the subject.

However, I was shocked to find out that some years after Kevin’s death, the child’s parents came forward and revealed that the child was a boy named Kong Nyong, not a girl. The parents of Kong said he recovered from the disease and died of malaria 14 years later. But Kevin committed suicide because of a guilty conscience, most likely believing that the child has died because he did not save her.

Conclusion

I felt very sorry the first time I read the story of Kevin, but my conclusion was that the good and the bad experiences of early pilgrims in life’s journey are fragments of wisdom from which we who are behind them should pick, and never should we criticize them. Because we might do worse if subjected to the same situation as they were.

Whatever life brings your way is not permanent, and, in most cases, the problem may not be as bad as we feel. Let us then learn to confront our challenges positively and call on God for help because it is not over until you say and do so.

My Sources

Kevin Carter – Wikipedia

The vulture and the little girl – Wikipedia

Amid-coronavirus-Pulitzer-winning-vulture-the-little-girl-photo-makes-rounds-for-wrong-reason – India International Times

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