Some people have many valid excuses for their misfortune and believe they have little to no fault for all their mishaps.
Regardless, I will not blame them either because, according to a Yoruba adage,
he who has not fought a giant stronger than him will think he is more potent.
Therefore, your experience is personal to you. If anybody passes through the same experience as those who fail and are in the same situation, no one will likely survive. Hence, blame no one for failing because we all products of grace.
However, many people who experience extreme hardship may never have attained fulfilment and joy. Why? Some are products of rapes born to unwed teenage mothers on welfare. Many were abused and abandoned. Some had no one to help them; they had to struggle all through to survive.
Yet, despite the hardship, they overcame life’s obstacles of rape, poverty, abuse, neglect, etc., and became successful in their chosen career and have now achieved financial freedom and independence in all ramifications. Not only that, but they are also a blessing to others.
Before considering what helped them, I want you to know that behind most success stories today are humiliation and failure.
Ask Dr. Ben Carson, who became the best neurosurgeon in the world in 1987. Yet, he struggled academically throughout elementary school. Olusegun Obasegun, former president of Nigeria (he was sentenced to 30 years, though he spent three years, by the former military head of state General Sanni Abacha).
Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa (he was in prison for 27 years). Bill Gates could not complete his elementary education. Still, he became one of the world’s richest men. Christiano Ronaldo came from a poor background. But today, he’s one of the best football players in history.
Tony Blair, former UK Prime Minister (his teachers used to call him a failure). To mention but a few. They all made it despite their challenges, and you too can make it.
Similarly, many of those we celebrate today suffered one abuse or the other when they were young. But, if they could leave their adversities and dysfunctional life behind and still make it to stardom, anyone can!
What helped them phase out their challenges?
1. They see beyond their problem.
Everyone you see today has a story to tell. We’re all bundles of both beautiful and horrible stories. One factor distinguishing progress from retardation and success from failure is the ability to readjust by seeing beyond the moment.
The successful are not people without hardship but people who never allow their problems to hold them down. Instead, they saw beyond their difficulty and moved on. So, you, too, need to see beyond that challenge and move on. Never allow your past to determine your future!
2. They Accept Responsibility
Successful people know they will never progress if they keep blaming others. In essence, they took ownership of their lives by accepting responsibility.
Of course, some people are responsible for your predicament, but sincerely, there was a small percentage of support from you. That’s the area you need to find out and begin to fix. There is a usual saying that the evil people do to us is 10%, but our reaction is 90%. Therefore, stop the blame and start the fixing.
3. They Build and Improve on Themselves.
Human life is like a raw material that needs processing. We process our lives by building and improving on them. I always see myself as a student in the school of life; hence I keep learning every day.
Learning and acquiring knowledge will continually improve your life and shape your mindset. It gives you an understanding of life’s issues and how to manage your failure and success.
People who made it in life were raw at the beginning, but they learned to improve on themselves until they produced a better version of themselves. The usual children’s song says;
Good better best, I will never rest until my life is better and the better best.
I think it is wise to regress and embrace that.
4. They Choose to be Happy.
People think happiness is what you feel. Yes, it is, but not automatic. You create it before feeling it. However, you cannot create it without, first of all, choosing to make yourself happy.
Nobody will give you lasting happiness if you do not decide to create it. People who overcome their challenges learn and choose to be happy. They then created it by believing in themselves and God, Who created them and wants the best for them. The time to decide to be happy is now! Get up and begin the work.
5. They Understand What True Riches Means.
Resilient and successful people do not just strive to make enormous money. They chose and planned to build wealth that involved everything about them. Most people never realize what being rich truly means.
Building wealth isn’t just defined by making money. It is to be rich in Mind, Body, and Spirit. I measure prosperity in the number of people I impact, my hopes, my accomplishments, and my feelings of safety. Decide now to be really rich; never settle for less. Begin by improving and investing in yourself; enduring wealth will come to you.
6. They Have Mentor and Role Models
I’ve heard it severally that If you want to achieve something, look for people who have done it successfully and connect yourself with them. Then, having done that, do not settle for mediocrity but strive for mastery. We hope to be role models for others by striving for something better.
Ask those who made it to the zenith of their career; it is never by accident. Some people mentored them. You need a mentor to arrive at your destination fast.
My first hero is Christ Jesus, and to Him be the glory forever. But I’m also thankful for all God has used to shape my life. One of them is Revd Dr. Moses Sowale of The Voice Fingerprint Incorporated. I went through his life coach program and was greatly impacted and blessed.
7. They Learn To Forgive
Most successful people have suffered abuse in some ways in the past. But they moved on because they learned to forgive. Stop hurting yourself with energy-zapping resentments and malice. Learn to forgive, even if you can’t forget. The bad thing about resentment is that it hurts you more than the person you resent. So let it go and move on.
8. They Rise to Help Others.
From my perspective, I believe the happiest people on earth are those who gave themselves to serve others. If God Has helped you overcome your challenges, go out and help others. Genuine successful people learn to reciprocate the favor they have received by doing the same to others. They support many charities and organizations to return many favors they’ve received.
9. They Face Their Fear
Successful people know they can only move on by summoning the courage to confront their most terrifying life situations. Perhaps your concern is going to the dentist, being rejected by someone, trying something new, redefining something familiar, asking for help, or giving it.
To be factual, you can best conquer your fear when you choose to face it squarely. However, you torment yourself by avoiding it. The funny thing about our fear is that they are not as difficult as they seem. Hence, summon the courage to face it now!
Conclusion
It is easy to blame others for our failure or misfortune, but we won’t get anywhere with it. So it is time to rise, see beyond the current predicament, and take responsibility. Then, when you start improving yourself and aim towards building a better version of yourself, God will release every help you need. Peace.
Thanks for reading. God bless you.
