Healthy self-confidence determines many things in your life as a man or woman.
For example, it defines people’s impressions of you and their assessment of you after meeting you. You’ve heard the usual saying; “first impressions last longer.” A healthy self-image will create a good impression of you, and a lousy self-image will result in a wrong impression. In other words, self-confidence can determine how you’re accepted or rejected. It also has a lot to say about how you handle your failure and how successful you’ll be.
According to HealthyPlace, self-confidence is the courage that you know yourself, believe in yourself and act on your beliefs. We can describe it as one elusive quality that is difficult to explain yet easy to see. It is the confidence or faith in one’s skills, traits, and judgment.
According to studi.live on the Importance of Self-confidence, healthy self-confidence can tell:
- how resourceful you are
- the level of your strength
- how healthy your self-image is
- how you take risk
- and how you achieve a goal
Although crippling social anxiety or other mental health disorders that affect the perception of oneself might cause a lack of confidence, this isn’t always the case.
You may be unaware that you have certain subconscious tendencies that are eroding your confidence.
Let’s look at some of these tendencies and actions so you can learn to spot them and begin developing good habits instead!
Number 1 — Over Complimenting Others
Over-complimenting people is an indirect way of telling others how much better they are than you. Of course, it is good to lift people and appreciate their good deeds, but if you do it in such a way that portrays yourself as a little fish, you will end up hurting your self-esteem.
However, if you appreciate others’ good deeds, you do not denigrate yourself but also seize the opportunity to showcase your quality and talent; you will succeed in boosting your self-confidence.
Take for instance, your friend just finished singing beautifully, and while you compliment her, you say, “what a beautiful voice you have! But, unfortunately, I can’t sing like you.” That’s self-degrading. But if you say what a beautiful voice you have, I can’t sing like you, but I can write well and also play a musical instrument.” That shows you have a healthy self-image.
Keep in mind that everyone has unique skills and limitations. Indeed, if we are all the same, none of us will stand out in a crowd!
Hence, each of us has something distinctive that distinguishes us; therefore, don’t praise others to the detriment of overlooking your great qualities.
Number 2— Believing Negative Comments and Imagination
It doesn’t matter how good you are; you will always have people criticize you. Besides, human thoughts and imagination are always unstable. Sometimes we feel good about ourselves, and at another time, we feel awful, perhaps because of bad performance or for any unpleasantness.
Sadly, it is much easier to trust negative thoughts than positive ones.
And over time, this kind of thinking undermines your confidence and self-worth, making it more difficult for you to have faith in yourself and accomplish your objectives.
Of course, positive affirmations can break some of these thinking patterns, but understanding how to stop taking your negative thoughts so seriously in the first place is even more beneficial. It will enable you to view life more objectively, paving the way for more overall enjoyment and, consequently, increased confidence.
Number 3— Missing Out on Your Appearance
There is a usual saying that appearance shows manner. While I’ve rejected this assertion many times, I discovered that people will always judge first based on how you look, good or bad.
So if you’re good inside but look unkempt outside, people will assume that’s who you are and treat you like manner. Even if you feel unconcerned about it, the way you’re treated will affect your self-esteem in the long run.
You are already aware of the value of good hygiene and the need to take good care of your physical and mental wellbeing. Therefore, it’s crucial to understand that you disrespect yourself virtually when you ignore your looks.
Similarly, if you don’t feel good about how you appear, it will affect your self-esteem, especially in social circumstances. Although it can seem like a minor factor, taking good care of your looks can do a lot to boost your self-confidence.
Number 4— Unhealthy Talk About Your Perceived Weaknesses
The difference between self-deprecation and overdoing it is fragile. While self-deprecation is a means of demonstrating that you’re a normal person who doesn’t take yourself too seriously, it might appear insecure in some circumstances.
Furthermore, suppose you regularly make negative comments about yourself; others will notice and either become weary of hearing you or begin to suspect that you may not be as great as you appear.
If you must mention a shortcoming, especially in a professional setting, such as a job interview, frame it as an area for improvement. It will demonstrate that, while you acknowledge that you are an imperfect person, you’re building on yourself; there is a readiness and ambition to master new skills and thrive in areas other than those that come naturally.
Number 5 — Focusing On Small Defects
Are you quick to spot any tiny flaws in your looks when you gaze in the mirror, and you’re so obsessed that it seems like the only thing you can see in your mind is the flaw?
In such a case, you must stop because this manner undermines your confidence!
Hyper-focusing on your imperfections might make you dislike what you see, even if you believe you are simply being honest with yourself.
The implication is that instead of cherishing all that you love about yourself, you start to focus on all that you believe to be flawed. As a result, your self-criticism habit makes you feel depressed, inadequate, and inferior.
Instead, try using the same energy to focus on the positive aspects of yourself rather than dwelling on tiny shortcomings.
It may seem odd at first since optimism is sometimes earned the hard way when skepticism has become a habit. But everyday practice will change how you feel about yourself, just like any new habit that’s worth cultivating.
Furthermore, no one is without flaws. The difference is; People with healthy self-image learn to improve on their shortcomings instead of focusing on them.
Number 6— Unduly Saying I’m Sorry
Sincerely saying apologies when you’re wrong is a significant sign of humility. But being excessively saying sorry might damage your confidence.
I believe there are times you need to say sorry even when you’re not wrong to keep a healthy relationship.
Underline a healthy relationship.
You intentionally lose the argument and win the relationship for a good cause. But you must stop it if it’s becoming a habit lest you damage your self-esteem. A tendency to apologize frequently might give the impression that you lack confidence in your skills or judgment.
You shouldn’t apologize for things you are aware are not your responsibility. If you do, you assign blame to yourself and give the impression that you are at fault. Apologies should be made when necessary; else, they lose their impact and significance.
Number 7— Allowing Others to Decide for You
If you don’t know what you want or don’t think your opinions count, it’s impossible to be confident. Expressing your desires empowers and helps you gain confidence.
This is only possible when you pay attention to your inner voice, have faith in your judgment, and act on your desires. Your self-image will deteriorate if people control or manipulate you, dictate what they believe you should do, or pressure you into doing anything without considering your opinion.
Number 8— Living Without Standard
Accepting less than what you deserve involves lowering your standards to be okay with whatever emerges. Sure, reducing your standards will make your life seem pleasant or easy, but you will hardly achieve anything significant by personal initiative.
And while it may seem like things are simple and easy at the time, you have subtly lost dignity in people’s minds, thereby losing your self-confidence in the long run. Therefore, lowering your standards decreases your self-worth and generates more issues than solving them.
It is also a slippery slope; if you start doing it for one item or one thing, you’ll find it easier to do it for others. Of course, it’s acceptable if we don’t all share the same ideals. However, having a set of standards and sticking to them will make you happier and more confident.
The only acceptable place of compromise is when your standard isn’t producing the expected positive results. Then you have to consider modifying or changing it, but the motive should not unnecessarily be to impress people.
Number 9— Self Comparison
Everybody has been there. While scrolling through your social media feed, you realize that some of your peers are accomplishing milestones more quickly than you are. While you struggle with dating, perhaps they have an ideal home, a better career, or are happily married.
Yes, sometimes, this habit produces good results when it motivates us to curb laziness and excuses and then causes us to get to work.
But if because these individuals possess something you do not have, you feel envious, uncomfortable, and sometimes even furious, then you’re subtly and ignorantly wounding your self-confidence.
Humans naturally compare themselves with others and make a judgment based on disparities. However, what we don’t understand is that we do not arrive at our different destinations at the same time. Therefore, despite comparing ourselves to others is natural human behaviour, if not checked, this practice might harm your self-confidence.
Number 10— Keeping a Negative Relationship
The relationships you have in your life have a significant impact on how confident you are. That’s because they influence the perception of yourself and everything around you.
In other words, your confidence will erode if those close to you consistently criticize or disparage you.
Therefore, sit back and think if your relationships are healthy or not. One of the main questions you need to ask yourself is how the impact, comments, and impressions of some people around you make you feel. If your self-confidence and energy get drained each time you get close to these people, then it is high time you give them space.
It’s critical to surround yourself with upbeat individuals who value your well-being as much as their own if you want to be assertive and confident.
Number 11— Wanting to Please Everyone
I do not know all roads to success, but I do know the way to failure, which is trying to please everyone, says Bishop Dr. Segun Okabadejo (your lordship).
You cannot try to impress everyone and maintain your self-esteem. Yes, people may like you for it because you’re letting them have their way, but they know you’re a men-pleaser. Get me right; there is nothing wrong with pleasing the people when it is necessary.
But making it a lifestyle subtly destroys your self-esteem. So stop it and be yourself! Being a people pleaser doesn’t guarantee true love from them. What many people do is show you fake love to keep you serving their egotism and wounding your self-image. So I charge you to wake up and start building a positive self-image for yourself.
Peace!
Thanks for reading, and God bless you.
If you like my piece, please share. You know why it doesn’t cost you a cent.
