A relationship is very significant in human existence, and it is one of the primary reasons God created everything. No one can survive on their own in this world; all creatures rely on one another to survive.
A relationship can help us improve our mental health, develop consistency, learn how to be a good friend or partner, find someone to rely on and trust in times of need, and have someone to talk to when we’re having problems.
Therefore, we often feel more included and less alone when we are in a relationship. However, a relationship can turn into a burning hell if you do not know how to manage it. Thus, for any relationship to work, successful and last longer, it requires some practical works. How then can a relationship work out its good purpose? I suggest the tips below to answer the question:
1. Love And Accept Your Partner
Love and acceptance are the foundations of every healthy relationship. My candid advice to you is that you don’t go into a relationship with someone you don’t love or have feelings for because no relationship can survive without love and acceptance.
Feelings of love and acceptance create a moral sense of belonging and self-worth, they enhance mutual communication and openness. One who feels accepted will have nothing to hide, and he’s open to change at all times.
But on the other way round, where these two virtues are lacking in a relationship, such will soon hit the rock. So love and accept your partner for who he or she is to make your relationship work and be successful.
2. Communicate Your Thoughts
Communication is like the lifeline in a relationship. There will be communication when there is love and acceptance in a relationship. Communication is one pillar that can sustain a relationship and make it achieve its good purpose. You can’t choose to communicate with yourself for life. Hence, it can only be done for a long time between two entities of common interest. God Almighty is the only one who can understand everyone’s thoughts without you saying it.
As a result, you must communicate your thought to your partner, don’t expect him or her to understand or guess what you want without you communicating. Your partner is not an Omniscience God who knows the thought of everyone. Even as powerful as He is, He still wants you to tell Him what you want. Hence, if you want your relationship to work, learn to communicate your thoughts or desires with your partner and never expect him or her to know or guess your thoughts without you talking.
3. Avoid Attempting To Change Your Partner.
Do not enter a relationship intending to change your partner because it could lead to frustration. It is a sign of pride to enter a relationship with the mind of changing someone. By that mindset, you already presume you’re better off and your partner will refuse you when he or she finds out your motive. Changing your partner for the better should be one reason we’re in a relationship, but not the principal reason we begin it.
We start a relationship because we love and accept our partner. Do not begin a relationship with someone you don’t love or accept. When you love and accept your partner, it will be easy for you to influence changes in his or her life, and if he or she is not seeing a reason for change yet, you won’t feel discouraged because you already love and accepted him. However, your partner will be very willing to change because he will trust your judgment and he or she knew you already love and accepted him for who he is.
4. Forgive The Past
For any relationship to work, forgiveness is inevitable. If you ask me who is the person who will offend you the most, I will say, it is the one who is the closest to you. To be honest, your close friend or spouse will hurt your feelings more than anyone else or someone far away. Believe me, it will be rare for someone far from you to hurt you, but someone very close to your bosom like your spouse or close friends will offend you most often.
As a result, it’s a good idea to keep this in mind when starting a new relationship, and be prepared to always let go of the past if you want your relationship to work. But be careful that they do not take your forgiveness for stupidity. However, to what extent should one forgive in a relationship? Let me know in the comment below.
5. Cultivate Healthy Self-image
Superiority and Inferiority Complex will crash your relationship so if you want your relationship to work, try to overcome it if you have any, and if you don’t, keep them at bay. An unconquered inferior mentality will degenerate into jealousy, insecurity, evil suspicion, and fear which will ruin the relationship.
Likewise, a person with a superior mindset is proud and dominating by attitude. If you want your relationship to work, develop and maintain a healthy and positive self-image. On the other way round, a healthy self-image is a powerful influence for achieving a successful relationship.
6. Show Gratitude
Showing gratitude is one of the most powerful catalysts for happy relationships. If you want to keep the fire of your relationship burning, don’t be stingy in showing gratitude to your partner or spouse and for everything you have. Gratitude in a relationship is like a stimulus that motivates your partner, friend, or spouse to do more.
An adage says and I quote: “one good turn deserves another”. When you show gratitude your spouse will feel loved, accepted, and appreciated and remain motivated to do more. But ingratitude sucks in a relationship, it drains energy and kills morale no matter how strong it is. To make your relationship work, be generous in showing gratitude to your partner.
7. Be Vulnerable
In a relationship, vulnerability means letting your spouse know all about you: your views, feelings, struggles, and shortcomings. Yes, it is terrifying to expose certain facets of ourselves to our partners for fear of being judged or using it against us. It’s not always easy to show all of yourself to someone you care about, but being able to open up in a relationship is important if you want to establish trust and form a lasting bond. It’s important to open up to our spouses to maintain intimacy.
They must know all phases of who we are: the good and the unpleasant side of us, accommodating the bad ones, and celebrating the good ones. This will establish genuine affection between the couple or partner if done with the right person. But I will warn you to study and understand your partner’s level of maturity before opening yourself up, or else it could lead to a lifetime of regret. However, if it is in between two positive people, the vulnerability will lead to an intimate and affectionate bond which will be difficult for a third party to penetrate.
8. Learn The Love Language Of Your Partner
In his book titled The Love Languages, Gary Chapman identifies five love languages by which couples can express heartfelt commitment to each other. No two persons are the same, no matter how resemblance they are. For your relationship to work and last longer it is necessary you know the love language of your partner. The reason is that what turns you on may differ from what turns your partner on. Lack of understanding of your spouse’s love language will always cause both of you to be at the loggerhead at all times.
For instance, you bought a costly gift for your partner on her birthday and you discovered instead of her jumping up and appreciating it; she showed little or no gratitude. This could lead to a fight that won’t resolve quickly. The simple reason is that the love language of your spouse is not buying something for her on her birthday, even if it is costly. Her love language might be to take her out on a date or throwing a surprise party for her. You cannot know what he wants if you do not understand his or her love language. Therefore, to make your relationship work, know your partner’s love language.
9. Saying Sorry Is Not A Sign of Weakness But Strength
Ignorance makes people think that saying I’m sorry is an act of weakness and because of this, they will try everything they could to avoid defaulting in their relationship. While I credit people with this attitude for being excellent in behavior, it makes them, on the other way round, look like an angel which may be difficult to relate with.
But the worst part of this is that when they make mistake, they think it is weakling to apologize. However, what they do not know is that they are full of themselves and unable to overcome their pride. Their ego rules them, and such people may not enjoy intimacy in their relationships because their partner will build a wall of self-esteem to contend with their pride. The way out of this is to see yourself as a human who is not immune to human frailty and when you make mistake do not feel reluctant to say I’m sorry because it will cause your marriage to work and last. However, it is a nasty habit to be careless or harm our partner intending to say “I’m sorry”. That is not a respectful manner but wickedness, hence, let’s avoid such.
10. Always Respect Your Partner
Respect is reciprocal; this implies that, when you value your spouse, he or she will pay you back with the same good coin. Respect in relationships boosts morale, increases self-confidence and self-esteem. It prompts a man to conduct himself in front of his wife and other people. It curtails promiscuity and encourages self-discipline. But the lack of it in relationships demoralizes and could make relationships degenerate to a loose way of living. Such a relationship will crash.
However, it is not only ladies that should show respect in a relationship, the man also must respect his partner. For this reason, learn to respect your partner because it will cause your relationship to work and last longer.
11. Mutual Help For Each Other
One-sided support makes a relationship appear as if one party is serving the other. But for a relationship to work and last longer help between partners should not be one-sided but mutual. We all have uncommon abilities; the other is stronger where one is weak. This should help partners to complement each other rather than compete. Understanding and doing this will strengthen a relationship and make it last longer.
12. Spend Time Together
The currency in a relationship is not money or material things, but time. Time is the costliest thing in the world, and what a person spends his or her time with reveals a lot about them. You can also know the level of priority a man places on something by the time he spends on that thing. Therefore, if you want your relationship to work and last longer invest quality time in it. The time you spend on your relationship determines the value you place on such a relationship. Hence, spend quality time on that relationship if you want it to work and last longer.
Thanks for taking the time to read this article and before you go, let me ask you something: To what extent should one be willing to forgive or vulnerable to one’s partner, or is there any detrimental effect when you’re vulnerable or forgive? Please let’s know in the comment. If this writing has affected you by any means, please share it.
Felix Adeoye.
