Relationship is imperative in a human’s life because God created us to depend on one another for survival; hence, no one can live without a relationship. However, the relationship you keep can determine the degree of your happiness and fulfilment in life.
A healthy relationship can prolong a man’s life and help him make significant achievements with little effort. But a toxic or unhealthy relationship can shorten a man’s life with little or no achievement.
Therefore, the impact of the relationship you keep can determine your wellbeing, fulfillment, and how long you live. It is essential and wise to examine the relationship you are keeping. Failure to do so can be very detrimental later on. How do you know you’re in a healthy or toxic relationship? Below are some signs that determine if the relationship you keep is healthy or unhealthy.
1. Presence or Lack of True Love
Love is the most essential of a relationship and its presence or absence in a relationship is a true sign your relationship is healthy or not. Are you are always being criticized without an obvious reason, opposed, and misjudged? The reason might be that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. But if your partner accepts you despite your deficiencies, you’re cared for with no sign of deceit and corrected when you’re wrong. I assure you, you’re in a healthy relationship. Being in a loving relationship of any kind will provide a person with a sense of purpose, boost one’s morale and well-being.
Indeed, having a sense of purpose may help you live longer. The order is negative when you’re in a relationship without love, you will lose your morale and sense of purpose and if you do nothing about it, the consequence could be harmful later in life. Hence check if there is love in your relationship or not.
2. Level of Understanding
You can’t achieve something significant if you are in a relationship where people are cynical about your actions. But you’ll be free and peaceful to interact with people without fear if you’re in a relationship where your partner or people try to understand why you do things without sarcastic questioning or criticism. This does not mean they won’t criticize or question your lapses, but they will do it in such a constructive manner. So the level of understanding will show wellness in your relationship.
3. Sense of Belonging
A sense of belonging will lead to a sense of responsibility. A man with a sense of belonging in a relationship will take ownership and responsibility for that relationship. But if your partner, spouse, or friend seems irresponsible in your relationship, maybe he or she does not have a sense of belonging in that relationship. The same thing is happening if you feel like not taking any responsibility in your relationship, and this goes a long way to determine how healthy the relationship is.
4. Level of Support
One of the principal reasons for a relationship is to give and get support. When a relationship is healthy, support will be mutual. But when the relationship turns toxic, giving and taking support from one another becomes difficult, and when there is no support from a partner or people in a relationship, such will turn to a competitive relationship instead of complementing one. Therefore, an unhealthy rivalry will destroy the relationship. Hence, ask yourself now if you give or receive support from your partner, friend, or spouse because that will tell if the relationship is healthy or not.
5. Respect or Contempt
Respect is a sign that you value or honor somebody. The same goes for the relationship you keep. In a relationship where partners, friends, or spouses treat each other with contempt, such will degenerate to resentment which will end the relationship. However, when people in relationships respect one another, it will trigger a healthy self-image and discipline in the way they address one another. Not only that, respect will always command the same respect from people. As a result, one of the major ways to know if the relationship is healthy or not is the level of respect people involved have for each other.
6. Level of Trust or Faith
Trust is one of the strongest pillars in a successful relationship. Love is the most essential virtue in a relationship, as mentioned above, but we cannot establish love without trust. The connection between trust and love is strong. Trust implies that you believe in your partner even when he or she is doubting his or her ability.
Thus, we build a healthy relationship on the foundation of trust. Without trust, the relationship will be unstable and will fail. People say love is the agent of change in a relationship, but I disagree with this. Faith or trust is the actual agent of change because, in the first place, you can’t even love without you, first, have faith. There have been testimonies of people being transformed because somebody believed in someone who despised himself.
The most common cause of relationship breakdown is a lack of confidence in one’s partner, which is produced by a lack of trust. Because if you don’t trust your partner, you won’t feel safe knowing that he or she will love and be loyal to you. After all, confidence implies that you can rely on, confide in, and feel safe with your partner.
As a result, trust in a relationship boosts love, confidence, and a sense of security, but the lack of it weakens love and leads to suspicion, self-doubt, and insecurity among partners or spouses. Is there trust in your relationship? Please, try checking it because it is a determining factor if the relationship is healthy or not.
7. Is There Openness or Vulnerability
The level of openness in a relationship has a powerful impact on the health of the relationship because it goes a long way to determine the growth of that relationship. Trust is very important in a relationship as mentioned above, but without openness, there can never be trust. Openness will produce trust and banish insecurity in a relationship.
But evil suspicion and lack of confidence for one another will grow in the relationship if secret-keeping is the order of the day in your relationship. In the long run, suspicion and lack of confidence in each other will end the relationship. Therefore, the presence or absence of openness in your relationship will determine if such a bond is healthy or not. Check it out.
8. Is the Relationship Complementary or Competitive
God created each of us in such a way our talents and capabilities are dissimilar. The reason for this is that God wants us to complement one another. That is why where you’re weak your partner, friend or spouse will be strong there.
Complementing is like a cover or protection that shields your weakness from being exposed. When that happens in your relationship, it’s a sign that your relationship is healthy. But if instead of being complimented, your partner finds your fault or uses your weakness against you is, that is a red flag that your relationship is unhealthy and the earlier you do something about it the better it will be for you.
9. Do You Feel Secure or Insecure?
Security is one of the major yardsticks that determines where we go or stay. If you feel insecure in a place, it will be foolish to drag your feet before leaving the location. But if you feel secure, you can relax your soul without fear.
The same thing goes for a relationship. At the center of it all, relationship security is all about support as earlier mentioned. When you’re in a romantic relationship, you can rely on each other at the time you’re down or stressed. Longevity, confidence, and vulnerability are all indicators of security that you and your partner feel secure in each other’s hands. That, I will say, is a sign of health in your relationship.
But you will become disconnected if you and your partner cannot lean on each other, especially at the time of challenges. This will incite fear, resentment, and strife. When this happens in your relationship, you don’t need anyone to tell you that you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
10. Quality of Time Spent Together
Spending quality time together in a relationship to keep it alive. The quality of time spent on something determines its value in the life of an individual. Likewise, the quality of time an individual spends on a relationship is an indicator if the relationship is important to him or her.
Are you and your partner investing quality time together in your relationship and engaging in a purposeful endeavor for its progress or the other way round? Please check because the quality of time both of you spend together is a signal that shows if the relationship is healthy or not.
11. Level Of Intimacy
Intimacy in a relationship is one of the principal signs that show if a relationship is healthy or not. I will describe intimacy as proximity between two lovers in which both persons involved feel safe and cherished and in which trust and communication are regular and mutual. It signifies shared vulnerability, honesty, and sharing.
The term is also used to describe healthy sexual relationships between couples. Mutual sexual intimacy in a relationship is a great backbone that keeps the relationship healthy. Therefore, to know if your relationship is healthy, check if there is mutual or one-sided intimacy. If you’re both mutually intimate, then congratulation! Please, ensure you preserve it. However, if otherwise, it means the health of that relationship is at stake, and you need to do something good about it.
Conclusion
It’s been said more than once in this article that healthy relationships can help you live better and reduce stress. According to studies, the social and emotional support provided by a committed couple or a wonderful friendship can be a safeguard against stress. Research shows that there are many benefits, including lower blood pressure and stronger immune systems because of healthy relationships.
Having read through the article, the choice is yours to effect necessary change. However, every relationship goes through time and season of challenges, be it healthy or unhealthy. That you see one or two of the above-enumerated signs is not enough reason to end the relationship. As earlier said, every relationship has its trying time.
If any of the signs above reveal unhealthiness in your relationship, the solution may not be to end the relationship but to discuss it together with your partner, spouse, or friend about the way out. This can help resolve the problem and subsequently make the relationship a super healthy one. You can also see a mature and experienced counselor as a better guide.
Felix Adeoye
